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When Everything Tells You to Stay Silent—Speak Up Anyway

A reflection on why courageous conversations—messy, imperfect, and honest—are essential to leadership, and how embracing vulnerability can build trust, clarity, and momentum.

Ryan Soares

3/28/20242 min read

When Everything Tells You to Stay Silent—Speak Up Anyway

Leadership isn’t just about clarity and vision. Sometimes, it’s about courage. Especially the kind that shows up in small, everyday moments—when silence feels safer, but speaking up is what’s needed.

Even the most capable leaders can hesitate in the face of hard conversations. They avoid giving feedback. They bite their tongues in tense meetings. They swallow concerns because they don’t want to rock the boat. Often, this isn’t about apathy—it’s about fear. Fear of saying the wrong thing. Fear of going against the grain. Fear of not getting it just right.

So many leaders hold themselves to a standard of perfection, believing they have to get the words exactly right or not say anything at all. But that pursuit of perfection can be paralyzing. The truth is: we all get it wrong sometimes. What matters is what we do next.

We need to get better at giving ourselves grace. To recognize that mistakes aren't signs of failure—they're openings to learn and connect. A conversation that goes sideways doesn’t have to be the end. Great leaders know how to circle back. They say, “That conversation didn’t go the way I hoped. Can we start over? I’d love to hear more about why you feel the way you do, and I’d like to try sharing my perspective in a better way.” That kind of vulnerability isn’t weakness. It’s a mark of strength—and it builds trust faster than a perfect speech ever could.

We’ve seen what happens when leaders lose that muscle for real dialogue. In one financial institution, for example, decisions were made, but resentment simmered beneath the surface. No one wanted to be the one to name the tension. But in silence, things didn’t stay neutral—they got worse. Silence wasn’t safety. It was complicity.

When we helped those leaders practice speaking up—even awkwardly, even imperfectly—they began to shift the culture. They stopped performing and started showing up. That’s when momentum returned. Psychological safety increased. Teams got clearer, faster, and more connected.

Because here’s the thing: speaking up isn’t about being right. It’s about being real. It says, “This matters. I care enough to say something.” That’s leadership.

And let’s not forget—courageous leadership isn’t just about speaking. It’s also about listening. Really listening. Being open to perspectives that challenge your own, and staying curious, even when it’s uncomfortable.

So the next time your gut tells you to stay quiet, ask yourself: What’s the cost of not saying anything? In most organizations, the greatest threat to performance isn’t chaos—it’s polite silence.

You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be willing. Say the thing. Own the misstep. Try again. That’s how trust is built. That’s how leaders rise.

silhouette of woman holding rectangular board
silhouette of woman holding rectangular board

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